Resources
Books and podcasts for different phases of the journey. While these have been grouped according to timeline, that’s just a suggestion - make sure to pick up whatever speaks to you, whenever it feels right.
If you have questions about where to start, or could some extra support, send me a message. I’d love to hear from you.
BEFORE
Resources about the nuances of illness, death, care taking, and the challenges of navigating the western medical system. A great place to start if you haven’t yet experienced the illness or death of a loved one, but are feeling anxious about it…
Sacred Passage : How to Provide Fearless, Compassionate Care for the Dying.
by Margaret Coberly, PhD, RN
“Healing can occur for a patient even when there’s no hope for a cure.” A book I wish I’d read from the get-go! Coberly talks about what happens when we move from radical denial of death to acceptance, and how it’s perpetuated in our families, community, and medical system. She shines a light on palliative care, what it means to heal v. to cure, and what death can teach us when we have the courage to face it head on.
What Dying People Want : Practical Wisdom for the End of Life.
by David Kuhl, MD
Palliative care physician David Kuhl takes a look at the often overlooked emotional and spiritual dimensions of terminal disease. “What Dying People Want” addresses how we can better understand the process of dying, the reality of living with terminal illness, and addressing physical pain. He also offers his expertise in practical areas, like strengthening doctor/patient relationships and holding family meetings.
Advice for Future Corpses: A Practical Perspective on Death and Dying.
by Sallie Tisdale
A practical (and very funny) how-to guide including how to communicate with the dying, doctors, loved ones etc, and what to expect in the last months, weeks, days and hours of life. Tisdale tackles what we think it means to “die a good death,” and offers up that that can look really different from one person to the next.
DURING
Companions when you’re in the thick of it. I think of these as the friends who get it.
Podcast: Terrible, Thanks for Asking.
by Nora McInerny
What happens when the love-of-your-life-husband dies of a brain tumor, you have a miscarriage and your dad dies suddenly, all within a few weeks? If your name is Nora McInerny you start talking about it. And you start talking to other people about their accounts of when “the worst thing ever” happened in their lives. And then you make a podcast about it.
“Terrible, Thanks for Asking,” is made up of stories of every day folks, and the unimaginable sh*t they (we) go through. No pretty bows, no happy endings. Just life on life’s terms in a way that will make you laugh and cry, and just might show you that you too have a seat at the table, and a story to tell… no matter how sh*tty it is right now. Nora is death and grief genius.
by Nora McInerny
“In No Happy Endings, Nora offers a tragicomic exploration of the tension between finding happiness and holding space for the unhappy experiences that have shaped us.”
Consolations: The solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
by David Whyte
“Longing”, “hiding”, “beginning”, “disappointment”, “maturity”, “joy”…. Whyte offers impossibly beautiful meditations on these words that carry weight and meaning in everyday lives, breathing a touch of newness and artistry to these “friends” we already know so well.
It’s OK that you’re NOT OK: Meeting grief and loss in a culture that doesn’t understand.
by Megan Devine
“Doesn’t understand” indeed! If youre feeling guilty, ashamed and crazy about feeling so sh*tty during loss, get this book. If people are saying things like “She’s in a better place now” and “time heals all wounds” and you want to hurt them, BAD, get this book. I can’t say enough good things about it. It’s the grievers hand guide to sanity.
AFTER
Making sense of it all.
by Natalia Volz.
Written by my mentor-in-grief! Natalia’s quick read provides action steps based off of the RELIEF process to help you move through grief, rather than stay stuck in it.
Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes.
by William Bridges
Every transition begins with an ending. How do we make sense of these moments - and navigate the new beginning’s that are to follow?
Have more questions about resources? Send me a message here.